Where there is betrayal, there is faithfulness.
We don't know, we did not know, and we still don't know how to water the seed of faithfulness in that person.
Every one of us has this seed of betrayal and the seed of faithfulness. They are always there as a couple.
The problem is watering. If you are mindful, if you are loving and then you can water the seed of faithfulness in him or in her everyday and that seed will become very strong and the other seed never has a chance to manifest.
So we are somehow responsible to some degree about the situation. And we should not blame everything on the other person. That's the first thing you should see.
If you know the practice and if you stay fresh and loving and compassionate, you have more chance to persuade him or her to follow our way because our life is a teaching.
The way you speak, the way you look, the way you act is full of compassion and loving kindness. And you are so pleasant!
And when someone is compassionate and pleasant, people like to come and sit close to her. It's natural. Like a linden tree. We will like to come and sit at the foot of the linden tree because the linden tree has the kind of energy of peace and relaxation.
So if we know the practice, and if we can stay fresh, compassionate, loving, patient, it can help transform the other person.
And the other person represent the suffering of the world. If you help him, you help the whole world.
And if you are not solid enough, fresh enough, compassionate enough, and then you should need a Sangha, a community of practice behind you and backing you in the practice. You have a resource.
Maybe in the beginning you have enough peace, enough patience, enough compassion. But because you don't know how to preserve and nourish these qualities. And because this usually is so difficult for you. So that is why you run out of these resources and you cannot continue to help him or her.
So that is why a good practitioner always has a Sangha behind her. And she can draw a tremendous source of mindfulness, compassion, forgiveness in order to be able to continue helping the world and specially helping the other person.
So if you look and see, you see that the other person suffers and there is not now the way out of suffering.
And, you who know a way out, you should be able to show him.
If he has not followed your advises. Because your way of telling him is not compassionate enough, skillful enough, fresh enough.
You should be a true Bodhisattva, full of compassion, loving kindness, and freshness.
And everyone needs a Bodhisattva like that. And the practice of mindfulness is to become a person like that, a Bodhisattva as fresh as Mother Earth. And you have that example. Mother earth always forgive. Mother earth is always patient.
Every time come back to her, you'll get nourishment and healing that you need. And you are a daughter of mother earth. You should learn from mother earth how to stay fresh, forgiving, compassionate.
And then you will not lose hope.
Especially when you have a Sangha, a community of practice behind you, supporting you, and you can draw a lot of resources from that community.
So continue to practice in order to nourish your compassion, your freshness and then you will suffer less because with compassion in our heart, we suffer very little.
Because compassion has the power to heal.
With compassion we suffer less and we are strong enough to help him, or help her.
And helping him means to help yourself first.
And the teaching of the Buddha is very clear. If you cannot love yourself, you cannot love someone else and help him or her suffer less.
So the answer is clear. Take care of yourself. Nourish compassion, patience, freshness in you. Take refuge in the Sangha in order to get being nourished. And then you can help him and help the world.